Overeaters Anonymous is a Fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience and mutual support, are recovering from compulsive overeating. We welcome everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. There are no dues or fees for membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions, neither soliciting nor accepting outside donations. OA is not affiliated with any public or private organization, political movement, ideology or religious doctrine; we take no position on outside issues. Our primary purpose is to abstain from compulsive overeating and to carry this message of recovery to those who still suffer.

Editorial Policy: Opinions expressed herein are those of the writers and not of HMI or OA as a whole, unless otherwise noted. We reserve the right to edit all submissions with the intent of preserving the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous.

Food is my Shepherd;

I shall always be in want.

It maketh me lie down in misery.

It leadeth me to 7-11 in the middle of the night.

It leadeth me in the chains of bondage for its name sake.

Yeah, as I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death by Chocolate,

I will fear all real or imagined evil,

For Food is with me,

It’s sugar and fat do not comfort me,

It loads down the table before me, shames me in the

presence of friend and enemy,

It anointeth my bloodstream with oil,

My plate runneth over.

Surely engorgement and heartburn and gas shall

follow me

All the days of my life

And I will dwell it its prison forever.

When I joined OA a year ago, I was so desperate. My first meeting gave me such hope. I felt accepted and no longer alone. We always end our meeting with the Serenity Prayer, and then we all say together, "Keep coming back, it works."

But why wasn’t it working for me? I took the first 3 steps. I was going to the meetings. I was sharing, reading literature, and still I was gaining weight. I felt like a failure. I couldn’t seem to grasp abstinence. Then on May 25^th, I read in For Today, on page 136: "Pray to God, but continue to row to shore. God is not my arms and legs. It is up to me to do the footwork. God does for me what I cannot do for myself, not what I can do." CLICK! The light went on.

God has given me a brain to think with. He has given me the authority to choose. He has given me the strength to take the right action. God and I are partners. It is God’s WILL. It is God’s POWER. But it is my FOOTWORK. Together, I will succeed. I can. I will. I am able and I am abstinent.

-Reprinted from Utah Soaring Newsletter

I’m grateful to be aware of how cunning and baffling my illness can be. After three years in program, it’s sobering to see I still get in trouble when I don’t use the tools and return to my old self-pity mode. It’s humbling to realize I don’t have to have all the answers and cannot do it on my own.

For me, God’s will has always required facing and expressing my feelings, but I don’t enjoy it. I usually hide behind a clown mask because I thought that was the only way somebody could like me. Never mind that I held on to resentments while trying to be liked, of course. It’s still very hard for me to be assertive when I think it would upset somebody I care about. This past week I had to acknowledge to myself that I was hurt by a friend because he had cancelled our plans twice. Expressing my feeling to him scared me. What if he thought I was making a great deal out of something insignificant? Oh, God, what if he thought I was in love with him!

I was also avoiding telling my sponsor that I needed more consistency in our morning talks. I could understand that her life had changed since her baby was born, and I felt very selfish, but I needed to let her know that my needs weren’t being met. Changing sponsors scared me. I also had to face my problem of how to deal with compliments regarding my weight loss. I like the attention, but it’s still something very new to me. I have to admit that I’m scared of change.

While all this was inside my head, I sat back and did nothing. I saw the old self-pity in the decision to keep everything to myself—nobody knows!—nobody calls me! Next thing I knew, I was obsessing with food again. I was overwhelmed by the same insanity that had brought me so much pain before. I don’t know what I said, but I do know I asked God for Help.

I arrived at my meeting thirty minutes early. To my surprise, there was somebody already there. I went to the bathroom and cried my heart out. I told God how lonely and angry I felt and asked for help to share my feeling with the group. The other early member found me and told me it was okay to cry. I was able to tell the group how bad I felt because I thought I should be over this after my time in program. I shared my confusion and my gratitude that I was there. By the time the meeting was over, I felt my commitment renewed. I don’t want to imagine what would have happened had I not attended that meeting. When I arrived home the young people’s newsletter was in my mailbox. I saw it as an extra message from my Higher Power assuring me that God is with me and as an opportunity to give back what I had just received.

I spoke with my sponsor this morning and was very honest. We agreed on a new arrangement to get in touch. Whether it’s going to work or not is out of my control. I did my part and stated my needs. I leave everything else in God’s hands. I’m willing to talk to my friend and let go of the outcome, too. I’m also willing to write about the other things that I still don’t understand and ask God for insight. Most of the fears I had this past week were all caused by projecting into the future and by thinking I should be over these feelings by now.

I’m very grateful that you were there to have an OA meeting for me. I’m grateful that you understand and care about me. If it worked for you, I know that if I keep working it, it will also work for me. I intend to give God due credit for creating me, and the best way to do that is by letting the real me come out of my hiding place. I’m doing that one day at a time with your help. Please keep coming back: I need you!

--reprinted from Lifeline, August 1994

Laughter is Good for the Soul

A few years ago, I regularly attended an OA meeting at a hospital. Every Sunday, we sat around tables in the conference room. One Sunday, we walked in and didn’t quite know what to do. It seems that earlier in the day, the custodians had gotten the room ready for a dinner later that night, even leaving instructions on the door telling us it was okay to meet in the room, but not to disturb the tables in any way. We walked in to find small round tables set up ready for dinner, complete with full table settings of plates, silverware and napkins. All we could do was form a large circle around the tables. It took us quite a long time to start the meeting, not because we weren’t ready, but because we could not stop laughing at the look on each person’s face as they walked in! Now if that wasn’t a hint from our HP, I don’t know what is!!

Sherri H.

"…and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

Several months ago, I volunteered to be the Editor for Steps. I was really looking forward to doing what I like best: writing and editing. I mean, out in the real world I am an English teacher, so this service was right up my alley! Coming back from relapse, I was determined to do something that I had to be accountable for. How hard could it be? I just had to get out a newsletter every four months. Even being as shaky in recovery as I was, even I could do that! It seems that I forgot one thing: this disease is cunning, baffling and powerful. Without help, it is too much for us. In my newfound recovery, I forgot the principals of the program. Pretty soon, I made excuses as to why the newsletter wasn’t out yet. Some were legitimate: the end of the school year, knee problems followed by surgery, computer crashes. Most excuses were not only not legitimate, they couldn’t even be named. I just flat out didn’t do it. So, here I am, months later, sending out a newsletter. Along with it goes a very heartfelt apology to those who entrusted me with this service: you! I can’t promise that this time around my recovery will stick. I can tell you that I am spurred on by reading through contributions, old Lifelines, and other areas’ newsletters. I am reminded that I am not alone and that this program is one of honesty, integrity, and service. I appreciate you waiting. Please keep me in your prayers along with all of the other still suffering compulsive overeaters, both inside and outside of these rooms.

Now that I’ve got your attention, hows’ about doin’ some service yourself?? Please send in contributions for the fall edition of Steps. Send in your story, anecdotes, good things you’ve heard at meetings or anything else you’d like!

e-mail: srhiggins@teacher.esc4.com